Years in Review
by neversleepingalwaysdreaming
Summary: Little known fact about Takashi Shirogane- he was in love with Matthew Holt. Little known fact about Matthew Holt- he was in love with Takashi Shirogane. Fact known only to Takashi, Matthew and Samuel Holt- Takashi and Matthew were dating when they went on the Kerberos mission that went so very, very wrong. Or Shiro and Matt have been together since before


Little known fact about Takashi Shirogane- he was in love with Matthew Holt.

Little known fact about Matthew Holt- he was in love with Takashi Shirogane.

Fact known only to Takashi, Matthew and Samuel Holt- Takashi and Matthew were dating when they went on the Kerberos mission that went so very, very wrong.

"Please go to sleep."

"Shiro- we're going into space tomorrow."

"Exactly, so we need to get some sleep."

They were lying in Shiro's bed, which was admittedly too small for two people, but Matt and Shiro didn't care.

"What do you think we'll find?"

"Ice."

"I mean, yeah, obviously, that's what we're going for- "

"Babe- "

"But it's the edge of the solar system- "

"Matt, please- "

"So, what if we find aliens or something."

"Honey, I'm begging you, please go to sleep."

"What if we find crop circles?"

"Crazy theories are Katie's thing, aren't they?"

"How funny would that be?"

"It's almost 2am."

"Then you better shut me up Shirogane."

And so Shiro did just that. Almost an hour later, when they decided to try to sleep again, Shiro rested his head on top of Matt's and took a deep breath, enjoying Matt's warmth and the familiarity of being with the person you love.

"You were so thirsty for blood you injured your fellow earthling."

All of the air _whooshed_ out of Shiro and he tried to remember how to breathe.

"You attacked my brother? Why?!"

No, it wasn't possible- it made no sense. Shiro loved Matt, he knows he does, so why did he attack him? Why would he want to kill his boyfriend? He couldn't remember any of this experience.

"No- it can't be true."

"I was there. We all were."

 _No, no, no,_ he thought, _he would never hurt Matt, he wouldn't do it, how could he do it?_

"I don't believe it, there's gotta be more to the story, I couldn't have hurt my… friend."

" _I'm not gonna make it," Matt said, sounding close to tears, "I'll never see my family again."_

" _You can do this." Shiro said, but Matt only looked down and whimpered in fear._

 _Shiro moved on instinct. He dove forward, yelling and grabbed the closest weapon before turning on Matt and slicing his leg. There is no way he can fight if he can't stand._

" _This is my fight! I want blood!" He leaned down close to Matt and felt his face soften as he looked at his boyfriend. "Take care of your father. I love you."_

 _He was grabbed from behind and thrown into the arena. He tried to ignore the fact that the last time Shiro would see the man he loved would be after he had just severely injured him._

"Pidge, there you are."

"Why did you hurt my brother?" Pidge asked, looking down, "You were his friend."

"I did it to save him." Shiro said.

"What?"

"My memory of the event came back when we were fighting the monster." Shiro began. He sat down next to Pidge and told the story. Except for one line. _I love you_. It hangs in the air around him now. The first and only time he had said it and it was right after he attacked Matt. _Great timing Shiro_ he thought miserably.

Pidge hugged him close, crying now and apologising for doubting him.

"I can tell you miss them. I know they miss you too. You brother and father would be proud of you Katie."

Pidge gasped and looked up at Shiro.

"Don't worry," he said. "Your secret's safe with me."

 _Though Matt would kill me if he found out I brought you up here_ he thought to himself. The Holt's all had one thing in common- they would do anything to protect their family.

Matt had never thought he'd be a part of a rebel group, let alone a rebel group out in space that fights against evil aliens who are trying to take over the universe. He also never thought he'd be found by his little sister who was a paladin of Voltron a.k.a. the defender of the universe.

And finding out his boyfriend was also part of Voltron and had crash landed on earth only to wormhole his way to the other side of the universe with his little sister, Shiro's little brother Keith and two other Garrison students was just the icing on the multi-layered, gigantic cake.

But when he actually saw Shiro for the first time since the arena incident where Shiro saved Matt's life it was… well… weird.

At first glance Matt didn't even want to believe it was Shiro- it looked like him and talked like him- but something was off.

For years Matt imagined what his reunion with Shiro would be like; them both crying and running into each-others arms, Matt finally being able to say _I love you_ and kiss Shiro's grin off his face.

But reality was harshly different.

The awkward handshake, the awkward bro hug that was a semi-romantic hug for a fraction of a second, and a whole lot of strangers watching. Well, strangers to Matt, family to Shiro he supposed.

"Shiro?" He'd asked, stepping towards him in awe, "it's so good to see you, um, sir."

That's when they hugged. Matt obviously knew they had grown a little since they'd been apart, but the way that Shiro held Matt just didn't… feel like Shiro.

"Pidge never gave up on finding you." Shiro said in response, with a voice that wasn't _quite_ right and a tone that didn't fit. Does that mean Shiro stopped looking for him?

"Yeah, she can be pretty stubborn at times." Matt responded light-heartedly.

Nothing with Shiro was really the same after that. They had become two different people and so Matt decided that they should take a break from their relationship. If they still wanted to they could try again after Zarkon was defeated.

They never did get back together.

They barely spoke after Zarkon was killed and Matt stayed with the rebel forces, Shiro staying with Voltron. And that was that. Matt felt like a part of him was missing, or something was broken, or he was physically injured. Being apart from Shiro was hell, but it wasn't this new Shiro that he missed. He missed Takashi Shirogane, his boyfriend and the one he loves. But he must have died in that arena, when he was tortured and experimented on. He died long before they were reunited.

"Hey Pidge, who were you just talking to?" Shiro asked as he walked into the common room, watching as Pidge put away her communicator.

"I was just explaining what had just happened to Matt."

"Wait, what?" Shiro asked, his head spinning. "Did you just say Matt?"

"Yeah, he went really silent and said he'd be here as soon as he could."

"Matt's alive?" Shiro whispered, almost to himself.

Shiro spent the next two days in a daze. The other paladins chalked it up to him getting used to this new body and the new prosthetic that Pidge and Hunk had made but he couldn't stop thinking about Matt.

Shiro avoided Matt when he arrived, claiming he wasn't feeling well and they could catch up later. Pidge had just shrugged and run off to see her brother. He could only avoid everyone for so long though, so eventually he put on a brave face and joined the others.

And there he was. Matthew Holt, standing a little further to the side than everyone else, just watching. Matt immediately turned when Shiro walked in, their eyes meeting almost instantly.

"Shiro?" Matt asked tentatively as he entered. Shiro couldn't ignore the way he felt lighter when he saw Matt and the relief he felt when he spoke. _Matt was alive. Matt was here. Matt was once again in the same room as Shiro_.

Matt stepped forward once, hesitant and half reaching out, like he was afraid.

"Takashi?" he whispered.

Shiro couldn't help himself anymore, and he pulled Matt into a hug, not bothering to fight back the sob that formed in his throat.

"God Matt, I missed you so much." Shiro said, squeezing Matt even tighter. Something seemed to open in Matt and then he was crying too, gripping onto Shiro like a life-boat.

"It's you," Matt said through his tears. "It's really you."

Shiro pulled away from the hug but didn't let go of Matt- who had moved his grip to Shiro's upper arms.

"I should tell you what happened when I met clone-you." Matt said, obviously working himself up but Shiro beat him to the punch.

"He fooled everyone Matt, so I'm not going to be angry or anything. You honestly don't have to tell my anything if you don't want to."

"No Shiro, that's not- "he cut himself off and huffed before starting again. "We sort of kind of broke up? I guess?"

Shiro felt like he had just been punched in the gut. He lowered his arms and took a step backward, trying to put space between him and Matt. _Trying_ being the key word because Matt refused to let go of Shiro and stepped right back into Shiro's space.

"Let me finish," Matt said. "I could just tell it wasn't you, but I didn't want to believe the worst, so I just assumed we became different people after the arena, so I called it off. But it felt different and weird because it wasn't really you. I knew it wasn't you the same way that I know that you are you. If that makes sense."

"So… what are you saying?" Shiro asked, the cogs turning in his brain.

"I'm saying that I knew it was a clone, so I stayed away but now that I've got the real you here I am never letting you go again."

"Really?" Shiro hesitantly placed his hands back on Matt's waist, enjoying the warmth. Matt was grinning now, and he stepped closer, his face coming within kissing distance.

"Your sister is definitely watching," Shiro murmured, but he didn't move away.

"I don't care if you don't," Matt said, tilting his head slightly.

"I don't care," Shiro confirmed before closing the gap. Matt felt exactly the same as Shiro remembered. Shiro tightened his grip in Matt's hips as Matt's hands wandered into Shiro's hair, tugging a little and earning a small moan from Shiro in return.

They separated only because they were grinning too much to keep kissing, but then Matt leaned away and looked at his hands, which were now smeared with blank ink.

"What the hell?"

Shiro felt a flush rise on his cheeks. "When Allura transferred me back into this body, my hair turned completely white. So, I've been putting this product into my hair to act as a hair dye."

Matt burst out laughing, hunching over and gripping Shiro's arms to keep him upright.

"God, I love you," Matt said, still laughing as he straightened. Shiro gasped at that, his grip going slack on Matt's waist.

"Say it again," Shiro whispered, pulling Matt closer. Matt's smile grew soft and he placed his hands on either side of Shiro's face, before putting their foreheads together.

"I love you Takashi Shirogane," Matt said, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Shiro whispered back and then they were kissing again, slower this time. Matt pushed apart Shiro's lips and then they were kissing more franticly, like they had only just remembered how long they'd been apart and they had to make up for lost time.

"CAN YOU GUYS STOP THAT I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT I NEED TO BURN THIS FROM MY MIND!" Pidge screamed, her voice a much higher octave than normal. Shiro and Matt pulled apart sheepishly and Shiro put his arm around Matt's waist, so they were now standing side by side, looking at the other paladins.

"How long has this been going on?" Keith asked, stepping forward.

"Since the garrison," Matt replied.

"WHAT?" Pidge and Keith yelled simultaneously. Then the last thing Shiro was expecting to happen happened. Pidge ran forward and gave Shiro a hug, tears forming in her eyes.

"I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you," Pidge said, her voice muffled through Shiro's shirt. "You should have told me, but I think I get it. Talking about him when he could have been… anyway, I get it."

"Thanks Pidge," Shiro said, squeezing her tight. She pulled away from him then and sniffed as she wiped her eyes.

"C'mon guys," Keith said, raising his voice so everyone could hear him, "let's give these guys some space."

As everyone walked off Shiro tilted his head and kissed Matt's temple, breathing him in.

"Matt, do me a favour," Shiro said against the side of Matt's head. Matt _hmm_ 'd in response. "Let's not get separated ever again."

"That's not really up to us," Matt responded, twisting in Shiro's arms so they were face to face again.

"It is if you never leave my side."

"That," Matt said, leaning in with a grin stretching across his face, "I can most certainly do." They kissed again, only briefly though. Shiro pulled Matt in for an embrace, content to just hold Matt, to bury his face in Matt's neck and simply _breathe_ again, in a way he hasn't been able to do since their last night before the Kerberos mission.


End file.
